Tuesday, March 18, 2008

2008 NCAA Selection Commitee Made Up of Aliens, Masons, Vampires, and Duke Alumni

My first memory of March Madness involved my parents cursing at Isiah Thomas. Lifelong UNC Tarheel fans, my Mom and Dad believed the 1981 championship game against Indiana to finally be "The One" for Dean Smith and Carolina; making them forgot the former failed candidates: '67,'68,'69,'72, and the heart breaker in 1977. Things looked pretty good in the first half as Carolina led the entire way. Then the greatest basketball player never to have a nickname( unless you count Fucking Isiah ) came out for the second half and put on an all-time performance: 19 points and four steals.

I was struck, even at that young age, by the passion the game evoked from my parents, especially my normally even-keeled father. Carolina went on to win the title the next year creating an explosion of euphoria in my house that rang my metaphysical bell in such a way that it still reverbs today.

But enough with the waxing poetic on your mental Toyota, and bitching like an old man on the pot who forgot his Newsweek. On with the prognostications!

First of all, only nine teams have a shot at winning the whole thing: UNC, Memphis, UCLA, Kansas,Texas, Tennessee, Georgetown, and Wisconsin. This is not to say that all the final four teams will certainly come from this group, but that these are the only ones with a chance to become the Champ. Louisville, Duke, Pitt and to a lesser extent Clemson all have a chance to make the final four, but they won't win.

North Carolina got screwed by the selection committee this year. UNC was the number one ranked team for thirteen of the nineteen weeks of the season. They still get the strongest two and three seeds of the tourney, Tennessee, and Louisville, in their region. Although much has been made of Carolina's home court advantage, UT's, and to a lesser degree Louisville's, closest advantageous region would be the east. On top of that there is also the potential for an Indiana- UNC game in the second round! Not a welcome thought for Heel fans (memories of '84 welling-up).

The real overall #1 seed, based on regional advantage and strength of opponents is UCLA. They have the weakest two, three, five,six, eight, and nine seeds in the tournament! They also play the first two rounds in their backyard of Anaheim, before potentially traveling to Phoenix for the regional semis and finals. So go ahead and put the Bruins down for their third straight trip to the final four.

Look out for Texas. The committee hooked them up almost as much as UCLA. Granted they are in a top heavy bracket with Memphis, Stanford, and Pitt but check out this advantageous potential road to the title for the Longhorns: play the first two games just across the border in Little Rock, then back home to Texas for the regionals in Houston, and then on to San Antonio for the Final Four. They have potential home court advantage through-out the entire tournament. Throw in an underrated coach, a team that can score inside or out, and you've got the sleeper pick to win it all.

Last and not least, Duke for the umpteenth time in a row, has been placed in the weakest bracket with a relatively easy route to a regional final. This proves once and for all what the majority of Americans have come to believe: The NCAA selection Committee is made up of Aliens, Masons, and Vampires. As these groups of sinister blood suckers overwhelmingly make up the Duke Alumni (Mike"I don't look at myself as a basketball coach. I look at myself as a leader who happens to coach basketball" Krzyzewski is actually all three), it only makes sense that they would pull the strings necessary to give the "Devils"( no coincidence) a leg up.
Well too bad sinister would-be world dominator's; you're plan-- to convince the world that spoiled, whiny, white guys who shoot threes, and play dirty have the best chance to win basketball tournaments--will fail! The world is on to you. Go Heels!

By the way here's a copy of the winning bracket. Feel free to copy.




No comments: